As One My Friends Put It, I Am An Apple® Whore.

So maybe that statement is self explanatory and maybe it isn’t. Either way, when it come to all things Apple, I will do nearly anything short of selling my body and soul for Stevie’s latest creation.

I mean, I’m on that shit like a baby T-Rex on an archaeopteryx (that is of course when I have the money, which I rarely do). Never mind that this most recent technological marvel, as I perceive it, is probably only minutely different from the previous release. I mean, the number 4 is BIGGER than the number 3, so it must be BETTER! Right?! RIGHT?!

See how much better 4 is than 3! SEE!

Never mind that anything made by Jobs’ think-tank, including those stupid, little, white earbuds, (those effing earbuds that scream to others on the bus or the subway or before class, “Look at me! I OWN AN iPHONE! I am so amazing! Aren’t you jealous of me?! Well you should be! I mean, look at these glorious, white, wildly-symbolic headphones that tell everyone around me that I am better than you! They may not fit very well or have good sound quality, but at least they hurt my ears!”) cost about 50% more than virtually the same product from a different manufacturer.

Oh no, that well-constructed train of logic waves at me merrily as it skips right on by (that’s a fun image: trains skipping, chew on that one for a minute…) 

While you're pondering skipping trains, here's my depiction of 'Logic Train' waving.

Anyway, instead, my brain is content on allowing me to drool like one of Palov’s dogs as soon I hear the tinkling bell that is an Apple Reveal press conference. “Seriously,” brains says. “Logic?! Reason?! What possible use could those mere trifles have at a time like this?! You must have an iPad 2 or will surely suffer a horrible fate!”

Yes, I am hopelessly and shamelessly addicted to anything bearing that partially eaten fruit-of-the-gods.



But judge me not, dear friends, because I know a secret...

SO ARE YOU! 





P.S. I really do love Apple products. To me, they are of excellent quality and well-worth the cost. I just thought I'd take the opportunity to make fun of myself a bit. Because self-deprecating humor is always entertaining.